VCE: Very Curious Employees

When I was out East recently, I ran into Joe A., the exceptionally talented landscape designer I worked with for over ten years. We had just enough time to get superficially caught up, then it was time to go. It's always a problem when you try to see a lot of people within a few days. I wish we'd had more time to talk. I wish we could have reminisced about a few former employees we'd known. Many--most--had been wonderful individuals. It's just a few who stand out as being somewhat curious.

The first one who comes to mind was Alex. Older than others applying for a position, he came in for the interview with excellent credentials and an unsubtle way of letting us know that he came from an "old money" local family. Alex had a very winning, courteous way about him. Joe hired him and sent him out on a routine landscape installation. That's when the first indication of trouble came. The foreman, never one to complain, called from the site to question Alex's insistence that dozens of rosebushes be planted up to their buds, with their stems completely underground. I can't recall, or imagine, what rationale was given. But, a shadow had certainly been cast over Alex's horticultural credentials.

A couple of weeks later, I found a datebook on my desk that didn't belong to me. I opened it up to see whose it was when a stack of Polaroid photos fell out. They were weirder than I'd feared. In each one, Alex had clearly taken photos of himself, usually looking suprised or astonished. His eyes would be artificially wide, eyebrows up, his mouth slightly open. In some, his cheeks were sucked in and he gave the camera a Vogue-ish stare. A few were slightly blurry images of his facial profile with his hand artfully propped under his chin. The other hand had obviously, shakily taken the picture. What was even stranger, if that's possible, was that I then noticed all the appointments listed on his calendar were with himself, i.e. lunch with Alex, movie with Alex, discuss budget with Alex, do laundry with Alex. I'm pretty sure it was at this point that I spoke with Joe and showed him the evidence of my concern. We were at a loss for words.

Then there was the wonderfully quiet landscaper, John. So he could keep track of weather affecting work hours, Joe had requested that every landscaper write in a brief description of the day's weather next to his hours for the day. A man of few words, John simply wrote "sh***y" for his daily weather report. Even when it had been a sunny, mild day. I think I never heard him actually speak until he mentioned he'd have to leave work early since he was a Big Brother and had a function to attend. Glad he worked hard as a role model.

Sometimes, an employee's strengths and weaknesses were apparent from the start. The gravel in front of the 18th century garden center had thinned out in areas, as often happened during busy seasons. Joe showed a new employee a pile of gravel in the back and a large, industrial wheelbarrow, already filled with gravel.

"Just take this around front and rake it in where it's needed," Joe explained.

We were upstairs in the office a minute later when Joe glanced out the back window, then waved me over. The new employee had managed to lift up the whole wheelbarrow--including the gravel--and was staggering towards the front with it. Amazing. The concept of a wheel hadn't been absorbed by everyone yet.

Joe called out to him, "Put the wheelbarrow down! Just roll it out front!"

"No, that's okay, I got it."

And, Joe, if you're reading this, I know you could add quite a bit to the list.